Taking offense is a choice because most people do. We are always on the lookout for talented infrequent contributors and appropriate press releases. When Gary acts like a jerk, we can take offense, or we can let Gary’s problems be Gary’s problems and refuse to make them ours. 23 August 2015 at 10:43 Bryan Hemming said... What a ridiculous idea! Today, some define offense-taking, as stated in the journal Cognitive Therapy and Research, as the “perceived deprivation of what is rightfully due to a person.” For the best experience please update your browser. You can get mad, or you can rejoice and be glad. Similar to anger, the reaction of taking offense to what another has said or done is a decidedly moralistic emotion. Filter content There are times that we need to go to the offender to talk it out. Today I’m sharing a story of an interesting experience I went through recently when I posted a video that a group of people found offensive (many before even taking the time to view it). So choose wisely, always consider the context, and give the benefit of the doubt. “Well, Mark, I can’t remember Gary ever initiating conversation with me. You can take offense, or you can return blessings for curses. Gary doesn’t feel very good about himself right now, and he’s blaming other people.”, “So,” Jermaine asked, “will I see you at the breakfast tomorrow?”, Mark stared at the floor, wagged his head, then looked up with a crooked grin. It is the person who feels offended by what they consider offensive … Proverbs 19:11 says, “It is to one’s glory to overlook an offense” (NIV). And with a lot of other people. by Guest Post. Accepting Offense is a Choice. It’s not always that simple, but sometimes it is. We’ll stop supporting this browser soon. In our politically correct, short-fused lives we have forgotten that context matters. September 1, 2017. in Culture. I don’t have to let other people’s actions dictate my responses. I have lived this out through youth work, urban ministry, denominational staff work, and pastoring; through writing, editing, and publishing; through consulting with churches throughout the U.S. and Canada. 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What, at the bottom, it’s all about is your feeling treated unfairly. Taking offense is a choice - and a sign Get link; Facebook; Twitter; Pinterest; Email; Other Apps; September 30, 2016 As we work at clearing out negative energies and becoming our true selves, we're human and will still find ourselves reacting to certain things. Posted Oct 11, 2014 . Before someone can offend me, I have to allow that person to do so. “I won’t be coming to the men’s breakfast tomorrow.” Mark snarled. 2 Comments Life will always have difficult people, whether it is on the job, in the family, at work or even in the church. Our everyday language often betrays the lies we believe: “She makes me so mad.” “He makes me feel bad about myself.” The truth is, if I get mad when another person … It's a shame every social issue nowadays involving race or different cultures are perceived to be unarguably offensive. When Is There a Basis for Taking Offense? *Facepalm* This is what is meant when someone “takes offense.” It is misleading and untrue to say that one “was offended”, for… ‘Crucial Conversations’ by Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, and Switzler also addresses this truth for anyone who is interested. Why being offended is a choice. When the red man can get ahead, man; and when white will embrace what is right.” (emphasis mine) Years ago my father said to me that if I choose to be offended by what someone else says, I am giving that person power over my life. Or do you not know, brothers—for I am speaking to those who know the law—that the law is binding on a person only as long as he lives? Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me, unless someone hurls a dictionary at my head. One of the most common reasons people take offense is insecurity. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to … This means that our reactions to what we consider offensive should be the focus of change. Isn’t calling a Native American “red man” just as bad as “redskin”? To make the conversation valuable to all, please: * Stay on topic. 585. Proverbs 19:11 says, “It is to one’s glory to overlook an offense” (NIV). My lifelong passion has been to help the church become healthier. Yes, that really happened. Thank you for the book recommendation too. Last weekend, a student at Ole Miss disposed of a banana peel by throwing it into a tree when he couldn’t find a trash can. If the Reverend had used the term in a derogatory way towards Native Americans, then it could be offensive. Let’s say you’re at the grocery store and you hear someone behind you say, “Look at all these crackers, they all look the same!” Initially, you might be taken aback. When yellow will be mellow. Being 'offended' is not always a choice. As long as feelings of security are rooted in ourselves, the tendency to take offense, even at the little things, will exist. 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Jesus says we have options. That seems to have changed a little in the past few years, and it bewilders me. T… Launched in November 2015, this blog collects stories about and comments on a pervasive phenomenon — the impulse to give and take offense — and reflects on others’ analyses of a global preoccupation with hurt feelings, personal anguish, and episodic and systematic outrage. The reason people weren’t offended is because of context. It's not about being submissive or passive against the so called privileged but whether you constantly see yourself as a victim or not is a personal choice. And “taking offense” is an ancient device, historically used by clerics, employed to silence somebody. And that is both good and bad. Ok, now on to my proof. 'Offended' is a poor choice of a word. Better yet, choose not to be offended. Oftentimes, taking offense is a choice. Read our tips for stepping back and considering before taking offense. Posted on February 13, 2013 by Quotes Admin “Certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. Wait…the next time you start to feel offended, remember: You have a choice. I can prove it with two simple examples. Were the Washington Redskins agitators offended by his use of “red man”? One of the greatest indicators of spiritual maturity is revealed in how "we respond to the weaknesses, inexperience and potentially offensive actions of others," Elder David A. Bednar declared Sunday afternoon. There you have it. This is a great place to share with other Christian leaders about the heart issues of ministry. Advertisement. How has taking offense easily shaped you? Taking offense is a choice. Somehow, being offended has become the vehicle by which the offended, not the offender, has power. Great points! It seems that people are getting offended more easily. Not because we have chosen to take offense, but because we want to restore the relationship (Matthew 18:15). That’s right. How dare they! You’ve chosen not to be offended. I’ve always had to greet him first. Taking offense is a choice because most people do. A few days after the men’s breakfast, he talked with Gary and they cleared the air between them. Take offence definition: If someone takes offence at something you say or do, they feel upset , often... | Meaning, pronunciation, translations and examples To take offense over such cases would be artificial, insincere, and only result in crying wolf. Taking offense is a choice. Toggle navigation Loosely Coupled Thinking. Share on Facebook Share on Twitter. Follow. “Lord, in the memory of all the saints who from their labors rest, and in the joy of a new beginning, we ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get in back. Jesus says I have options: “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Posted on 08/04/2015 by Delores Liesner. 10 COMMENTS. My sensibility can be 'offended' without ever effecting my feelings. The goal becomes finding a way to rectify the words spoken or actions taken with the self-concept. “Yeah, you’re right. Just move on from stuff that might offend you. Can Biden Sec State Continue the 'Tougher Approach' on China? If rectification does not place, the feeling of offense can be an effect. Brant Hansen has written a whole book on this simple yet powerful truth: I can choose to be “unoffendable” (Unoffendable, Thomas Nelson 2015). Would that have been cultural appropriation worthy of taking offense? Insecurities are based on one’s self-concept, ideas and feelings about self (Coon & Mitterer, 2009). This prompted Greek Life organizers to cancel the remaining events for the weekend. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else. In fact, that’s what Mark ended up doing. Taking offense is a decision 100% of the time, that is the point of this post, I'm sorry you can't understand that, and provide constructive discourse. Bible verses about Offense Is A Choice. It’s obvious Gary is upset with me.”, “You’re probably right. That’s just Gary.”, “But it’s more than that. Being offended is a choice. Clearly his intent was not to degrade, but to inspire. Each time the person did so, my head was snapped back and forth by the movement. Gary’s just not a very happy person. Taking Offense is a Choice On my flight to a seminar today, a person behind me kept getting out of their seat by grabbing the top of my seat and pulling themselves up. When brown can stick around. How to use take offense in a sentence. When the self-concept is challenged, one will question perceptions of self and insecurities ensue. The way to prevent taking offense is to address our desire for security. While Psalm 119:165 may not exactly be talking about these kinds of offenses, the Bible does have a lot to say about the subject. During this season, I am living out my call to help churches become healthier by focusing on helping church leaders become healthier and more fruitful, through writing, coaching, and leading retreats and training events. If, however, our feelings of security are not rooted in ourselves or our performance, our perspective will change and our response to the actions and comments of others will become more balanced. In the grand division of all of God’s creations, there are things to act and things to be acted upon (see 2 Nephi 2:13–14 ). Listen: Latter-day Saint wife and mother shares beautiful final testimony before passing away LDS Living - Of this week’s All In podcast, host Morgan Jones wrote the following: "On December 16, 2020, I interviewed Rebecca Hirschi for this week’s podcast. I knew going into the interview that it would be unlike any interview I had ever done. Taking offense is a choice. This is something particularly significant that I have come to realize. When our identity, our emotional security, our sense of worth, is deeply rooted in God’s unconditional love for us, we have the power to refuse to take offense. AT ECCLESIASTES 7:9, the Bible states: “The taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones.” This verse shows that we should not be overly sensitive when someone offends us; rather, we should be forgiving. Gary is unhappy with me too. It is our choice whether or not to agree with satan’s suggestions to get offended about the “raw deal” we got. Referring to 2 Nephi 2:13-14, Elder Bednar said: "To believe that someone or something can make us feel offended, angry, hurt or bitter diminishes our moral agency and transforms us into objects to be acted upon." Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven” (Matthew 5:11-12 NIV). Why not? Absolutely. TWEET. Romans 7:1-25 ESV / 3 helpful votes Helpful Not Helpful. That’s right. But before I do, consider this story… Posted on August 11, 2011 by Bernardo Mendez • 8 Comments. * Always show respect, especially when disagreeing. Apr 8, 2017 - You Don't Have To Be Offended | Offense is a choice and sometimes an unnecessary one. Later, a sorority president saw the banana peel and, assuming it was a provocative racial gesture, took offense. VIEWS. When an individual is offended, they choose to be angry, frustrated or otherwise feel animosity toward another individual as a result of an action or statement which was made. As the narrative spread, more and more students became incensed, fearful, and unsafe. EMAIL. SHARE. Taking-Offense is a blog in progress that chronicles a book in progress. But then when you turn around and realize they were talking about Ritz and Town House, your mind pacifies. Trust me, life is much more pleasant this way. In 2008, at President Obama’s Inauguration, Reverend Joseph Lowery said the following: Just like the Redskins mascot itself is meant to do. Skip to main content. If you’re not sure whether or not you really are easily offended, take this test for a quick answer. I’ll be there.”. “I refuse to let anyone disrespect me the way Gary does.”, “Last Sunday after church, Gary and I were the only ones in the kitchen, and Gary didn’t even speak to me.”, Jermaine chuckled. When others curse us, Jesus commands us to bless them (Luke 6:28). Take offense definition is - to become angry or upset by something that another person has said or done : to be offended by something —often + at. Suppose the official joined in and danced with each one? No. Your choice. Taking offense is a choice and I can prove it. The words “I am offended”, are a conscious reaction to a decided thought. We can choose to just love on Gary, which is what he needs. To Be Offended Is A Choice. Taking Offense An epidemic that seems to be spreading faster than Ebola. Because context matters. I can prove it with two simple examples. However, being 'offensive' is always a choice, regardless of whether or not it is acceptable to the 'offensive… Our everyday language often betrays the lies we believe:  “She makes me so mad.”  “He makes me feel bad about myself.”  The truth is, if I get mad when another person disrespects me, I’ve chosen to respond with anger. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else." But you don’t have to let Gary’s problems control your actions.”, “We have a choice. Offense of the Month, Fall 2020 Dr. Thomas Bowdler (1754–1825), for those of you who can’t quite place the name, was the family sanitizer of Shakespearean drama and eponym of that wonderful verb, “bowdlerize,” meaning to censor written texts either by removing or rewording offensive or otherwise objectionable terms and phrases. TAKING OFFENCE IS A CHOICE WE MAKE Someone quite brilliant (in my own opinion), once said “Offence can never be given, only taken”. Why? That is not a choice but a condition. As the narrative spread, more and more students became incensed, fearful, and give the of... 8, 2017 - you do n't have to be offended | is! Itself is meant to do so the offender to talk it out based on one ’ s glory overlook! Towards Native Americans, then it could be offensive employed to silence somebody the words spoken actions. A blog in progress that chronicles a book in progress that our to... 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